It was everywhere.

This was the last straw.

No more would this idiotic figure be present in the human race! No more! I would obliterate it! It would no longer haunt me on every single street! It would no longer be a presence in my life, or anyone’s life!

I would hunt every single one down, and kill it in any way possible! If that meant going to the far ends of the earth, killing every baker for inventing the dreaded baker’s dozen, so be it! I would once again be able to eat a freshly-made doughnut!!!

And TV! I hadn’t watched TV a single time since that horrible, horrible nightmare I had about The Count from Sesame Street slowly, ghoulishly counting up from 1, to 2, and then he reached 11, 12… I couldn’t take the chance of him possibly appearing in my living room!

But now, that would change… Oh yes, it would all change…

I would kill those bakers, and The Count! And I would kill every person who uttered the name of that abominable sum!

Finally…

The number thirteen will DIE!