I’m having a dream that I’m flying.
I can feel the wind blowing through my hair.
Then I hear a noise coming from no where.
“You have 1 new text message. You have 1 new text message.”
I sigh, wake up, and open my phone.
“Hey babe,” reads the text. “I’m lonely and I was thinking of you. Whatchoo doooin?”
He thinks he’s so cool.
“Well I WAS sleeping.” I respond. “Is this urgent? I’d really like to get back to, you know, sleeping.”
A minute later, my phone buzzes.
“Yeah, it’s urgent. There’s an urgent emergency. In my PANTS. I need you to douse the wildfire inside my groin with your water. And by water, I mean your vagina.”
I close my phone and don’t respond, but he texts me again. He can never leave me alone.
“Hey babe you know I’m just messing with your lemon. You know I’m not like that. But seriously now. Come on.”
I respond only because if I don’t he will get creepeir.
“Seriously, let’s fuck. Or else I’ll take out my angst with this tranny prostitute.”
“Fine by me.”
Then I turn off my phone