Caion smiled and sat back from his computer, the fools wouldn’t know what they were doing. Lured by his brilliant prose about the advantages of stickers in home design they would flock to his website.

Little did they know that 10,000 years of careful planning would soon reach fruition. The ancient magicks that had doomed Atlantis to the cold embrace of the waters would sing once more in honour of Nyarlathotep.

The stickers would wake, hypnotic patterns of neon-fuscia and putrid green-orange resonating to a heartbeat thud. Waves of oscillating eldrich light playing over the first stage of his plan, furniture bought from the Ikean empire of the Old Ones. Each piece named after the unholy rites of long ruined temples, holding their power secret till the stars were right and the squamous light empowered them.

All he had to do was wait, his plan was flawless. Soon the people of Ficly would come to buy his competitively priced interior design wares, open the gate and release the gibbering horrors upon humanity.