Ok so, pretty well self serving here… :)

I liked this alot although I’m not sure the last line is sold enough.

Acknowledge each other is a good line yet other than saying it’s been a year and a small fast line about being at a family reunion, I’m not sold.

I know it’s hard with the restrictions of this sight but selling the it’s been a year but we need the distraction of the family reunion to really sell they can’t wait to rip each other apart (in a good way)

The part with the cat was a bit confusing for me. I wouldn’t have really gotten the import without the tags, mostly on account of the use of ‘he’, and the fact that I’m assuming you’re a female writing as a female protagonist. Lots of promise here and plenty of tension, just a few little fumbles that get the meaning muddled a bit.

My protagonist is a mild-mannered, hopelessly romantic gay dude with a penchant for a certain military type…just to clarify! I’m now a bit confused by your “he” confusion. ;)

Basically with the cat I just wanted to kind of ease in to the action, alluding to the softer side of his disciplined boyfriend. I’ll have to think about how to clarify.

Waaaiiit a minute…THX, tell me you’re not saying it seemed like he was getting it on with a cat?

Haha, no, no not the cat. Although that would make it an entirely different story. I assumed the narrator was a ‘she’ so didn’t get the tension behind their hiding things until later in the story.

Oh GOOD, ha! It would make for a very, very painful story at that! :)

Oh?? So, this is a about a gay relationship then? Hmm, that might need better explaining, as I didn’t pick it up and even with the comments, I still can’t find evidence that assists readers in picking it out. Definitely an interesting story, but it seems like you tried to cram to much into a single Ficly…

I quite like the fact it isn’t advertised as a ‘gay’ relationship, just two people getting together and having smexy together time after having to be patient.

Yeah, the protagonists’ names could be thrown out as an afterthought in chapter 73, but does it really matter what sex people are when they get together? It’s much more fun to just enjoy reading about teh hawtness for what it is, whoever it is, divorced of hangups.