To say rampant sexuality in the middle classes was unheard of, would suggest an ignorance of the lives of Christopher and Caroline Jasper-Conrad.

Christopher, while sensible in appearance had a childish quality to him. Caroline, a shy but curious type, was always willing to challenge herself both mentally and physical but was not always forthcoming in admitting such desires.

Sitting hand in hand, Christopher glazed excitingly into Caroline’s eyes. Caroline, although aroused by the promise of sexual intercourse couldn’t help but wonder if she’d left the iron on.

“Perhaps anal intercourse, tonight?” Asked Christopher.

“I fear it is far to tight, what with your oversized penis, we shall resume normal service.” Caroline replied, massaging Christopher’s ego.

Christopher stood up, provocatively, if such a thing can be achieved, and proceeded to remove his trousers. This began the event that the local police would later describe as “inappropriate use of the village green”.