Is “he” bad for this contest?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second-person_narrative

You really like the gay theme, I’ve noticed. It’s well done. Spageti seems to take exception, but I think it was a fair use of ‘he’ since the story itself is in the second person. Beautifully described, and the detail of the sheets really stuck out for me for some reason.

Yep, I certainly do. Really, it’s the only thing that inspires me to write…is that awkward? ;) Thank you for the feedback, that did stick out to me too, and I wanted to allude to everything with exception of the obvious having some irony. I think it was the only concrete imagery for me too…that and the hand towel, maybe.

I’m not sure what Spageti is implying by posting the link. Even with second person, there needs to be a he or a she if there is to be more than one character. You definitely like to write the sexy, for sure. I definitely don’t mind reading it.

Nice twist. You aren’t sure exactly if you’re a dude until the end.

I think that spouses of gay cheaters perhaps suffer more because they’re more trusting when the cheaters go out with same sex partners. For all they know it’s two good friends hitting the beach, and it’s not as suspicious as opposite sex friendships.

I’m not sure if that is even relevant in today’s world where sexual identities are in a flux.

It is a good story.

sexy sexy i like it
And to zxv spegetti is an idiot.

sexy sexy i like it
And to zxv spegetti is an idiot.

sexy sexy i like it
And to zxv spegetti is an idiot.

I’m not one for this kind of story, but it was very well written. :)

Congrats on the feature! Regarding the language— I liked the ‘adrenaline soaked laugh’. Regarding the story— I liked how she puts the heat on him a little with a tough question at the end. Although her arms are needy her brain is still skeptical :)

oops, it’s him not her. Everything I said still stands tho :)

W-o-w. Teehee. I love the gay too :) It gives me cheap thrills.

The last line is just a punch in the face. I love it. So happy, and so carefree, and so dependent and you wonder why untill… bam. Right in the kisser (he he)