Wow. This story is brilliant. The emotions are so clear and concise and connecting. I can feel every detail in my own body. The firefly as a guiding light… Stunning.

Oooo, psychopomps. This was great, the ending really hit you when you were already feeling empathy for the kid.

Not sure you need the ‘on’ before the ‘tonight’ though, but that’s just being picky.

Ooh, nice and eerie and dramatic. Good job on the challenge. Nice description of a fairly typical, “Oh woe is me, nobody likes me,” logic leading to suicide.

I think it was beautifully thought out and achingly truthful. I would have left out “with his dying breath” simply because it feels too obvious and unnecessary. But that’s me. Over all, quality job.

Lovely! I really liked the tying in of the firefly as the guiding light.

This was very lovely, your language was fitting for the subject. Melancholy but not so weighty as to be depressing.

This line: “The seventeen-year old felt sick”
It held me up a bit. With such nice flowing language, the sudden specifics of a “seventeen-year-old” felt forced and also unnecessary; definitely held up the flow. “Kid” or “young man” would have felt more natural.