My girlfriend’s brother beat me within an inch of my life. He said that I’m not good enough for her and am in our relationship for the money. He broke my arm in three places and fractured a rib.

On my way to the bus stop, after I left the emergency room, a speeding car plowed through a puddle of slush, drenching me to the skin with icy water. When I turned away to keep from catching it in the face, I twisted my ankle and had to go back to the ER for more treatment.

I called a taxi to come and pick me up. When I gave him my address, he misunderstood and took me downtown instead of uptown. It cost thirty extra dollars to get home and the driver threw me out of his cab when I didn’t leave a tip.

The elevator in my building broke down while I was at the hospital so I had to climb 5 flights to get to my apartment. The door was ajar when I got there. Sure enough, I had been robbed.

I think someone is trying to tell me something.

Tomorrow, I’m moving to Pensacola. Never mind hurricane season. I’m outta here.