Ooh, that last line was chilling and the epitome of the dread in zombie movies—friend or loved one as potential threat. Awesome, brisk, and logical, all while keeping emotions right there in the mix.
Hey, looks like we have a new serial here in the merry ol’ land of Ficly! Nice work guys. Paul, the first paragraph may be a bit too intimidating. Do you have room to add a break before: “My parent’s room…”?
Hey, looks like we have a new serial here in the merry ol’ land of Ficly!
Nice work guys.
Paul, the first paragraph may be a bit too intimidating. Do you have room to add a break before: “My parent’s room…”?
Makes sense to split there, you’re right. Had a full 11 characters left, that’s two adjectives! What a waste D:
I only have a few small grammar quibbles: “it’s glass eyes empty” should be “its glass eyes empty” (its is possessive, it’s is short for “it is”) “My parent’s room” should be “My parents’ room” (because there are two parents) Other than that, I can only agree with TXH that the last line is chilling. I’m glad I stumbled across this series of stories.
I only have a few small grammar quibbles:
“it’s glass eyes empty” should be “its glass eyes empty” (its is possessive, it’s is short for “it is”)
“My parent’s room” should be “My parents’ room” (because there are two parents)
Other than that, I can only agree with TXH that the last line is chilling. I’m glad I stumbled across this series of stories.
ta, fixed :)
THX 0477 
Sir Bic 
Akheloios 
cthulhuburger