It was cold and bright
the light white and clean

sterilized instruments in latex fingers
all wearing green

you on your back
ankles above your knees
no place for a woman is ever on her feet

straps came around the bottom of the gurney
the gurney wheeled through the hospital
like you were diseased

and your child was the cancer to be removed
pulled out with forceps
the tiny forehead left with dents

and the bond was broken when it was decided to inject
No wonder we didn’t connect
the moment I was processed

and we can’t call it born

I was put in a plastic nest
Fed formula and nursing on candy cigarettes
So love became an imitation
held together through separation
and mutual contempt

the roar of our anger
and the silences in which we each wept

I know we both missed out
Neither of us figured out how
to plaster the crack
that crumbled our foundation

you seemed to be relieved
that you didn’t have to take care of me

and I suppose I’m better off
If I tell you that I love you
Can I consider my hands washed?