Funny story anda great visual at the end. The first paragraph feels grammatically rocky with a missing commas and too many semi-colons. The line about the October rain threw me, just in terms of what idiot teens would decide to go sailing in pouring rain when they could making out in their cars instead. Then again, teens are pretty dumb. So, in the end, I dunno. I think it’s a really funny story, and the fire on the boat was classic teen stupidity. I think I just struggled through the first half in terms of the reading of it.

Definitely much clearer with the editing. Not a big fan of all the fragments, but it seems to work for the voice you’re affecting here.