Hard Docking at Ludicrous Speed

“We’re going to ram an Imperial Dreadnought,” I said, watching as the battleship filled the viewscreen. “This is your big plan?”

“Ellie, love, that would be suicide,” Gates answered, hands on the control yoke, smirk on his lips. “We’re going to crash into that Dreadnought.”

“That’s better?”

“We need to board that ship immediately or there will be dire consequences for the entire universe,” he explained, “and I rather doubt Her Majesty, Empress Livia, the Rocket Queen herself, will open the docking bay and invite us in for tea.”


“As long as we’re at the correct speed and we hit them where their shields are weakest, we’ll be fine. Probably.”


“Chances that we’ll explode or bounce off, hurtling uncontrolled into the blackness of space are…inconsequential, really. Forget I mentioned it.”

Angry red blips appeared on the navscreen. “Um, they’re targeting us. Fighters incoming, main gun charging,” I announced, expecting Gates to at least reconsider…

Obviously, I should have known better.

View this story's 6 comments.