Jim made lists. Lists were a thing for Jim. The subject of his current list? Oh, well, it’s funny you should happen to ask. The list forming in his head this very moment detailed all of the many reasons that jumping would be absolutely fucking retarded.

*I’m goddamned afraid of heights.
*I’m really, really high up.
*This thing I’m standing on— is it a rock? It seems rocky—is very slippery.
*There’s a lot of water down there.
*There’s a pretty strong chance I’ll drown.
*Drowning is a terrible way to go.
*There’s still half a meatball sub in my fridge. Delicious.
*Elves have no idea what a meatball sub even IS.
*I’m scared all the time here.
*They have forests MADE of scary shit there.
*She doesn’t even like me.
*She loves him.
*She loves him.
*She loves him and not me.
*I’d probably poke my own eye out.
*Swords are for nerds.
*I’m a nerd. Nerds don’t fight.
*I fight.
*Badly.
*And I love her.