Intriguing. Nice dialogue, and it raises some interesting questions. What’s the business? Where are they? Where does he want to go?

Interesting names, smooth conversation, well placed subtle descriptions. It’s a perfect prequel, middle or sequel…
nice writing.

Interesting names, smooth conversation, well placed subtle descriptions. It’s a perfect prequel, middle or sequel…
nice writing.

If there’s one qualm I have with this, it’s purely aesthetic—I would say if there’s room, double space the dialogue paragraphs so it’s not all cramped up. Anyway, the dialogue itself is good, interspersed with just the right amount of description to give us a window into who’s talking and how much more we want to know about them.