Personal Log – Dr Julius Strangepork, Science Officer, USS Swine Trek

In space, no one can hear bacon fry.

It has now been 7 days, 7 long days of solitude and regret, since my intrepid captain and his (insipid) pork puppet Miss Piggy were blown out the airlock by Karl. Analysis of the airlock controls clearly indicates that it was my hands that exjected them, contrary to any memory I have; this seems to warrant further research.