“Active Dan,” sneered Corpusculus Rigley, his leather-gloved hand clutching the pistol like it was going out of style. “You never cease to amaze. Or disappoint.”

Dan wiped the blood from his mouth, disrupting his otherwise perfectly even coating of dirt and sweat. “The only place you’ll be amazing and/or disappointing anyone is from a jail cell, Rigley!”

Rigley chortled raffishly. “A jail cell? Hardly! For how can you jail the man… who owns the jail?” With a flourish he tore off his eyebrows and donned a monocle, becoming-

“Yelgir Sulucsuproc! It couldn’t be!”

“Yes, Dan. Now you see that there is no ambassador’s cousin – only my genius! My towering intellect that alone shall dominate the world!”

“The only place you’ll be dominating anyth-”

“Jail, thank you, I get it,” he snapped. “Now hand over the cryptogram or-”

“Or you’ll both live exactly long enough to regret it,” came the voice of a woman holding two guns, enough to shoot both of them. Turning, both men cried out in unison:

“Aunt Jessica!”