I’m trying to set up David as a young child trying to solve a mystery. It is cheesy, I agree with that. I think once I have the story in place, I can go back and edit some of it to make less so.
I think “cheesy” is a bit harsh. I think this is a great set up. When people comment, they need to realize the possibilities of the story and, perhaps, write a sequel.
I would suggest you change has to have, unless it’s on purpose.
This could go many ways, but I can tell you the vision I saw:
A young boy on the island of Amazonian. He lives in a world of women. His two mothers are protecting him from being put out to sea (how females were is some cultures set out on ice flows) A complete reversal of the “hidden girl” theme, I like where this could go.
By the way, I’m gay and have had a lot of drag friends and done drag myself. If you need jargon and lingo concerning how men “tuck” and hide their junk and tricks like that, let me know.
Krulltar 
David Wees 
32 ^2