Let Me Count The Ways


I know you can’t reason someone into a relationship, that you can’t calculate the optimum partner. But I’m really not sure how else to express things – the curse of a scientist, I guess. I know they say statistics are lies and damned lies, but I honestly mean every number.

I think of you a mean of 36 times a day, and each time it makes me 47% happier. The time I spend with you is the vertex of my joy graph. My feelings for you appear to be increasing exponentially, greater than any other rate of attraction I have ever felt.

I think the odds are in our favour. Across seven different compatibility scales, we come out as 78% compatible, which cross-references with the relationship duration tables to give a mean expected duration of 14.8 years. That’s quite a while and a third of 78% compatible couple stay together for the rest of their lives. A 1-in-3 chance that I’m the one is probably worth the gamble.

You solve my equation. Let me solve yours,


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