Yearrrg.

I don’t much like it.

You don’t like it, I however do. I think out of everything I’ve read today this is one of my favorites.

I can’t leave. They’re closer, now. Closing in on the final point. The final stretch. The final countdown. The final capture, the last of the last of the last.

Those are great lines, I would love it if you wrote more. Please? For me? :D

A sequel? Shee-oot. I’ll see what I can whip up. Thanks for the positive comments.

I rather like the redundancies in this story.

The redundancies drive home the urgency in this piece. Very tense, very fast-paced… I’m curious to see what goes down!

Looking back, the “out like a fat guy” line really doesn’t gel with the rest of the piece. But I’m not sure how to change it, ending the line with The Big Freeze feels weird.

It sounds a lot like Holocaust pieces. Except the end kind of reminds me of Shel Silverstein’s Boa Constrictor.