Lovely descriptions and a heck of a scene. It seems like a different rendition of a ghost, or a different sort of thing for a ghost to do. Gripping stuff.

You’ve got some grammar stuff throughout, just minor things that disrupt the flow a bit. Your use of semicolons in the first bit should actually be commas, and you’re missing a comma or two before conjunctions later.

Good flow and great imagery. The last sentence was a particularly effective way of saying the phantasm vanished.

Please don’t take this the wrong way, but was this Minecraft inspired in any way? Disregard if you don’t know what that is.

thanks for the comments – changed up those semicolons.

and asch, nah it wasn’t minecraft inspired haha. I’m not sure how it could be either – maybe you’re playing it a little too much!