What if I were just
a girl,
I’d wish that.
wish my life away without
much care for underworld
or hell or He.
I’d cut my wrists
dye my hair
let the blood slip through
fingers cold
and show off scars to my friends
as if it was a proud thing,
as if it meant nothing.

What if I were just
a ghost,
I’d wish that.
having wished my life away
without much thought for that beyond boys
and curls and makeup.
I’d whisp through scenes
scream my all
let the blood slip through
fingers cold
and wander the earth unnoticed
as if it were an old thing
as if it meant nothing.

What if I were just
a child,
I’d wish that.
wish my childhood away
without much thought for the future
or jobs or astronauts.
I’d not know of underworld
play all day
unreminded of blood
or fingers cold
and bless each face with a smile
as if it were a new thing
as if it meant nothing.

What if I were just
happy,
I’d wish that.
Wish away my life
because unbeing dead
is not being alive
and all I can do
as now
is unbe.