Dear Reader:
If you’re one of those annoying people who predicted this twist was coming a zillion chapters ago, would it have killed you to tell me that twist was coming so I could’ve been prepared for it?
’Cause when it actually happened to me, I very nearly collapsed right there and then.
Thankfully, the couch was behind me as I fell.

It was then I regained the capacity for speech.

“YOU FUCKER, AL! You genuine, honest-to-god ASSHOLE!”

Zoe stood up and came over to me. “Calm down, dude…”

“‘CALM DOWN’?! I’ve just been told by some strange, mostly mechanical guy from the Future that multiple versions of Me have knowingly conspired against me Me to put me in a universe that I have since spent innumerable minutes and hours and days and weeks and years and decades and milleniums walking around in, never knowing that it’s not the universe that I come from! Isn’t that about the size of it, Al?!”

Unfazed, Al stated his catchphrase:
“Correct.”

So, in a strop, I threw a nearby mug at Al’s face…