I figured it out. I was sitting in the coffee shop with my dingy old laptop when I realized that I was sitting in half of the answer. I closed the lid on my computer, picked it up and walked up to the counter.

“Are you taking applications? I don’t have much experience, but I’ll do whatever needs to be done and I’d like to work your busiest shift.”

I work the opening shift, from eight to twelve, Monday through Friday. The constant rush of people in need of their daily wake up call is more than enough to calm my fears. Then, I go to the library and read magazines and nap until my second shift starts.

My late shift? I work league bowling nights at the bowling alley, starting at 4. After it closes at 10, I head to the truck stop where I take orders at the lunch counter and talk to the truckers until 3AM. Then, I’m usually so tired that I can sleep for a couple hours until I have to get up again and make my way to the coffee shop.

I’m making enough money now to afford to see a doctor. Maybe she’ll help me.