I can’t connect with them. It doesn’t work like that.

No, no, no.

That’s like cleaning a car before you crash it. Pointless. Stupid.

But this girl, this poor, innocent girl. She looked so sweet. I couldn’t help it. I talked to her, and she talked to me. Then I felt some slight pain in my chest and everything felt fuzzy and I didn’t know which way was up.

Drug use. DMT? I thought so too. But I was clean.

I couldn’t sleep.

So I continued to talk to her and she continued to talk to me and I felt more and more connected to her and her flesh and I felt obligated to continue being connected. I couldn’t just stop it, could I? Every night I ran my fingers down her biceps and closed my eyes and I felt the urge but then I opened them and realize where I was and who she is and what I was doing and it felt wrong. So I closed my eyes and got no rest. Then morning, and she opened her eyes and smiled while my stomach growled and turned. I couldn’t take it.

So I stopped her from me being in love with her.

Sleep.