I think you have an idea going, but you’re not quite successful getting it across.

I love it. Almost has a lyric like quality.

Very internal, almost stream of consciousness. It feels private and very desperate, yet the theme is familiar to most (at least from life). I like it.

It took a couple readings to get a better grasp on it, it’s sad how he seems to stop himself from loving people because he assumes it will always end badly. It reads a bit oddly but I don’t know if that’s what you were going for.

Don’t change a thing. I think it’s perfect.

I considered adding the tag “cannibalism”, but I feel that would take much of the imagination away from the reader.

But this pretty much invalidates that thought anyway.