remember when
i could be this happy
without any substances running through my veins

remember when
we were friends

remember when
i knew who you were

remember when
i don’t think i ever did

remember when
your best friend still had all of her organs

remember when
we were best friends

remember when
we weren’t torn apart by your obsession with
pain
and older men

remember when
i have the same twisted dreams
of pain
and humiliation

remember when
life is disgusting
and i want to bleed
and be drunk
and not feel a thing

remember when
i was a child
sitting on the floor
and happy

remember when
the future
scares me more than anything

remember when
i can’t feel fear with these drugs in my blood

remember when
i can’t feel anything

remember when
i used to feel happy

remember when
i used to feel sad

remember when
i could cry
and it meant something

remember when
the only thing hindering me from doing anything
is my lack of money

remember when
instead of taking these damn pills
i should sell them
and be rich