I look out the window, feeling numb, cold, and tired. My eyes are softened and blurred by tears. I sit in the rocking chair; looking into the emptiness of the world beyond this room. I feel dead inside. But I can’t be dead. My heart is beating, my brain is working, and air fills my lungs. I rather be dead. This gray world is to much for a girl like me. I used to be happy, smiling, giggling, care-free. It’s gone now. This place I call Hell took it from me. As I think this, I feel my tear ducts squeeze out the tears and the slide down my face. I let the liquid fall, blurring my skin in a sheet of water. The tears come faster, harder, and soon, my jaw is trembling. Hold it back, I command. The tears come faster. HOLD BACK! The tears stop. Suddenly, I feel angry. My eye catches the glass of the window. So beautiful, so dangerous. As if in a trance, I walk to the window and shatter the window with my hand. I feel the blood rush through my veins into the air, and curse the numbness.
I still don’t feel.