kinda emo.. but the ending makes me think maybe there are chemicals involved, drugs, more than simple emotion and mind over matter. Eh. I’m curious about the ‘place’ where she is that is so bad and what loss she suffered for this pain.

Third line down your missing an ‘apostrophe d’ after ‘i’ . And on the next line ‘to’ should be ‘too’.

It’s a great monologue filled with desperation and hopelessness. I agree with Elsha that there seems to be something chemical to it – the physical side of it is so detached.

I feel both that it’s a good piece and that it could benefit from a synonym or description in the middle. When you use the word “tear” twice collectively, I got caught on the text. (I don’t know if this has ever has happened to you.)

Again, a very good piece though. I particularly love the sudden transition from sadness to anger. It’s something I can relate to.

Very upsetting. Although, the detail is what really caught me by surprise. Very well done. Very emotional. Good work, Emmalene. :)

@Elsha- what do you mean by kind of emo?
Anyway.

You did great building the emotions of your character, your word choice could use a little work, but it didn’t disrupt my enjoyment of this story.

okay okay, I’ll go with extreme sadness. I think this is the place you go before the tears come and you cry for what seems like forever.

I was asking what you meant, that’s all. People all tend to have different ideas of what that means.