I liked this very much!
It is not a poor attempt at all.
I especially like the last two lines.
Great work!

I agree, its not a poor attempt.
Your words are a little awkward sometimes but that’s the only critique I would give. Didn’t trip me up reading it so its not bad.
I like the positive tone you build up to, nicely done.

I thought it was a lovely poem with a nice messge. I wouldn’t carry the logic to the Nth degree, as it is always fun to hear stories, but I do like the overall idea of putting priority and emphasis on one’s own experience, actually going out and living life.