odd twist of fate there.. I bet the companies wished they could sue employees for lost revenue..

Great use of language, loved the creativity in the piece!

Thank’s for all your comments. Strange that the stories most of you prefer are the ones I’ve written without much thought, this only took 5 minutes. I’m going to attack my ideas more freely from now on.

I like quirky and this was quirky! Fun little Orwellian tale.

@32 — I find the same to be true for me. Of all my writings, the stories that garnered the most attention were the ones I wrote without much regard, based on relatively undeveloped ideas. As a creator, it’s a strange phenomena to observe.

As for this specific story, your presentation of idiotic bureaucratic paradoxicalness is perfect. My only complaint is its uncomfortable similarity to reality. Also, as a matter of formatting I would suggest double dashes in the third paragraph for better visual flow.

That’s how you punish a man – make him work with only the prospect of death at the end of his career.

I like that it was pure speech. Each character had individual nods to their personalities in their voices but the focus character never actually spoke. Interesting.

It’s also interesting that you can highlight the issues of society (and exaggerate them a little) without thinking about it much. I’m jealous. You should be a whistle-blower!

Oh and I despise the name Janice. But good work! Thanks for the entry and sorry for the extremely belated comment.