last line in first paragraph: change the ‘it’?
Peaky? you mean peaked.
It seems she cheated on him with a voice over the phone while in her own bed. You might clear that up.
Otherwise, you did have a good intruder, plus all the energy and jittery nerves shine through!

I meant peaky as in having a sickly appearance :) and yeah two sentences in a row starting with “it” was awkward! And it was phone sex ><

Pillow talk and talking during sex (on the phone or otherwise) should be taken with a grain of salt. Saying ‘I love you’ during these circumstances translates to ‘I love to f**k you’ imo.

D’ah! A gaze can’t be gentle and intense! It’s one or t’other, I say!

Guilt is horrendous and all-encompassing. Confession helps the soul, but could be ultimately life-ruining.

But it’s still unfaith isn’t it. Deriving sexual pleasure from another individual?
And I think it could be o.o like a gentle gaze which evokes a great emotional reaction is intense… right? >< and yeah :/ so true about the guilt