Stupid 1024 character limit.

My original story flowed better, but it was roughly 1500 characters… and making a sequel/continuation doesn’t seem to be in the spirit of a Ficly challenge.

How interesting!

I think this story flows well enough. And taking a shirt off sending you back in time is very strange, but awesome.

Congratulations!

This one grew on me – I like it muchly. I’ve chewed over it a while – it just clicks more as not just actual personal experience, but a unique one – with a unique cause and response. My compliments to the chef on a home-cooked meal. :)

So – DID you fall off the stage at graduation? Did you Bob Dole the graduation?

I might put a “I knew what I had to do” or “I didn’t know how much time I had” after you arrive back in time, just to flow into the action. One of my half-hearted suggestions – I’m not even sure it improves things, but it occurs to me. And I’m also a little off-put by “I grew hot,…”. It seems to not fit with the voice of the narrator. I might think “Freakin’ AC’s out. I pulled…” might work with the voice better.

Curious – has the narrator been in the hospital bed for eight years? Did he wind up crippling himself?

And I’m noticing challenges say how many sequels are suggested/allowed. But I probably would have said no sequels here – I’m such a purist. :)

Yeah, I fell off. Not sure what Bob Dole has to do with it…

Yeah, that was the point. A bit of irony… instead of being in jail, he ends up crippled. I suppose the injuries were pretty severe, if he’s been there for 8 years… maybe he cracked his head open.

I like your suggestions, but I only have 7 characters left, and I already had to trim it down once. I’m not sure what to sacrifice to put in a more specific plot turn.