Pondering till I'm Stuck

“Where are you God?! Huh?! Do you fucking hate me because I’m a faggot? Is it because I’m not what you wanted, because I don’t do exactly what the Lord our God wants me to?! Where the fuck are you, you coward?!”" I screamed all of these words with such hate and confusion that day. I just cried them all out into the openness, into the sky perhaps, or maybe “God” was listening to me.

I realized something that day, yet I don’t fully understand what it was. This world is so vast, full of evil beings, and it isn’t all centered on me; I’m not the only one that endures torture ever day. What’s the point of this world? Why do we live and what is the end result of all our sorrow and happiness? No one knows. Everyone tries to explain, but no one knows. There isn’t any amount of faith, religion, or science that can answer my questions. As I search these thoughts, I simply lose more of myself; there isn’t a shard of depth left to my meaning in this universe. I suppose this is why some are so scared to die…

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