Dialogue could possibly be tweaked a tad? (just my opinion), but the fantastic twist more than makes up for it!!!!!

oh wow, this had a really good twist. Didn’t really see it coming! But at the same time, the somber tone leads up to it.

I ended up having to reword the dialogue to stay under the 1024 character limit (and I hit it exactly, phew), but what exactly could be changed?

This leaves me feeling just a little creeped out.
By the way, the title is amazing!

Is it weird I knew they were watching him?

Yes, you telekinetic psychokinesis whichever means mind-reader person, you.