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Poor Ways to Start a Conversation (continued)

Hey, asshole! Hey, ugly! Why are you so ugly? Why am I so hot? Guess where my right hand’s been? Guess where my left hand’s been? Do you have any beer? Do you have any weed? Is it weird that I have a dead body in my backyard?

I used the force and it didn’t work. I take baths in chocolate milk, but enough about me, how about you? Have you ever wondered if everyone is just a figment of your imagination? Have you ever wondered if everyone is just a figment of my imagination? You’re a figment of my imagination, so shut up and go away. Shut up. I wasn’t talking to you, but you are ridiculously hot. Are you the one with the hot sister? Why are you fat? Why are you skinny? What is your opinion on people with eating disorders? ? I met your brother last night. Pardon my French, but you are the ugliest bitch I have ever met. Will you please take your ugly face and go somewhere else? Don’t make me get the box. I ate the bones. Please hold my hand and pretend to be my girlfriend.

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