When you’re in a situation like mine you need routine. Routine is all that keeps you going, sure you could top yourself but you haven’t scheduled that in yet. See Tuesday 19th 5.30-6.00pm, ‘Generator Maintenance"; Generator Maintenance is important, and it’s not like there’s anyone else to do it. But then if I topped myself then it wouldn’t need… no, stop thinking like that. Where was I?

Yes routine. Everything is scheduled and everything has it’s place. I’ve been down the long dark road that a lack of a routine means, days spent in bed, no food, no maintenance until the stench of yourself and bodily functions force you from your chosen grave. And then you find that the power is gone, and the ventilator has cut out, and that even after years down here the claustrophobia washes over you. All it would take would be one fallen tree and you’d never get out, never get out again and feel the sun and the grass and the wind and the… calm down. It won’t happen.

And anyway, whatever happens you must survive.