Dear Michael,

Like this is really, really hard for me. You have been gone to that wierd name place that has a desert for wayyyyy too long now. When I promised you that I would be faithful and wait for you, I had no idea that you meant 9 months.

Like 9 months is an eternity or even a really long time. Besides, it wasn’t my fault you joined the marines. Who does that anyways? Who would leave their beautiful girlfriend (and you know I am!) behind for camels anyways? You are by far the most selfish person I have ever met. I mean like I tried, I really did. But 2 months by myself is painful and you handed me that pain. Yes, I met someone else. His name is Bobby and he is great. He has seven tattoos and he plays in a band. He has goals, he is going somewhere. He cares about me. He even bought us matching tattoos. He is so romantic. He wouldn’t leave me for some flag fetish you have.

I am actually doing you a favor. You’ll see.

Some day you’ll thank me.

Brittany

P.S. Like, can I keep the ring?