Agent Arthur

“Arthur,” began R as she lowered her glasses condescendingly, “I know that you’re not exactly agent material. You’re not strong, you’re not particularly suave, and the only thing quick about you is your wits. However, James is missing, and you’re only one of 2 humans left in the universe.”

Arthur looked at her quizzically (of course). “Pardon me, but if that’s the case, what are you? Is this taking place before or after the dolphins? This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang…”

“Stop it with the incessant catch-phrases! I’ll put you away just like I did James!”

R pulled out a pistol and aimed it squarely at Arthur’s head. Just as she was about to pull the trigger, a shiny black BMW crashed through the window. R reached for her face and pulled it off, revealing that she was actually a flat-faced, green alien. James smashed the car into her now-expanding green body and finished her off.

Arthur stared at James.

“You knew what she was,” said Arthur.
“No, but I know a little bit about women.”

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