Let me explain something to you. I’ll use small words so you can understand.

“No, thank you,” meant, “DO NOT TOUCH ME.”

When you asked me to dance, I was polite. (Sidenote, why do they even call it dancing anymore? It is humping, to music. To songs that are usually about humping.) “No, thank you, it’s girls’ night out, I’d better stay with my friend.” That was polite.

Instead, I could have been honest. “Don’t touch me, you pervert.” “I find you repulsive.” “Bumping your boner against a girl’s backside in time to music is not actually dancing.” Would you have preferred that response?

Thanks for calling me a dyke and spilling your drink on me. You are truly a suave and sophisticated gentleman. I hope my response was appropriately ladylike and demure.

Oh, and by the way… you might want to put some ice on those before they start to swell.