Reminds me of the kind of story a twelve year old kid tells, shining a flashlight under his face to his best buddies on a camping trip in the back yard.
On a more serious note. What are you trying to convey to the reader? If you have a mysterious and awsome story to tell, don’t tell me you do, tell me the story. Let the reader judge it.
I’m reminded of a guy walking down a street past a series of coffee shops. The first has a sign, “Best coffee in the county”, the second, “Best coffee in in the country”, the third “Best coffee on the planet”. the fourth and last simply said, “Best coffee on this block”
Under-promise and over-deliver and you will go far.
Radical Yellow Duck