They got you so wrong. Omnibenevolent, yes, but omnipotent, no way! Nor eternal, nor omniscient. Came into existence only 20 billion years ago, right? Spontaniously too. Neat trick.

You didn’t start well though, not being omnipotent or omniscient. What a crappy mess you left us in. So you sent, Jesus H. Christ, was it? What was the ‘H’ for? ‘Course, we fucked that up for you – went and crusified the dumb fuck before he’d done his job. The cover-up was he’d died for our sins? Right!

Mohammed the messenger! What was that about? You didn’t reckon on him being one crazy Jonny Jihad? Couldn’t do right for doin’ wrong.

I liked the ‘Enlightenment’ twist – the clue was in the name, right? ‘cept we weren’t all as enlightened as you expected. Just enough to see through the crap of your earlier experiments.

So, your grand, and final, solution was to turn us into gods. What a great job – not! So, here we are, omnipotent, eternal – but you forgot omnibenevolent.

So you gonna pray for our forgiveness or not, asshole?

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