God had discovered Chinese food. Kind of. I mean, it’s difficult to “discover” something that was created by something you created, not to mention the whole omnipotence thing… Let’s start over.

God rather enjoyed Chinese food. Of all the cuisines his wonderful little creations had devised, none of them quite compared to Chinese. And, of course, the Americans had taken it and changed it all around (just as they had everything else in the world). It was their nature, it was how he had wanted things.

American Chinese was a fine thing, indeed.

So God made a habit every Sunday to have some American Chinese food whilst watching all the people going to the Christian churches to worship him. (On other days, he’d associate other foods with other religions. Nobody knows why he chose Chinese for Christians. It is not our place to question.)

Anyway, on August 2, 2009 (according to the Human calendar) God was eating some Orange chicken, when a large chunk fell off his beard towards his Earth.

“Aww, drat.” said God.