Jeffrey Potts was not the fatherly type. Even he knew that.

In fact, the thought of children was the last thing on his mind when he walked out onto his front porch, scotch in hand, and nearly tripped over a small white bundle on his doormat. He glanced down.

“Oh, now what the fuck is this.”

Inside the basket sat a baby, staring up at him. A pacifier in its mouth.

But Jeffrey was no longer looking at the baby. He was glaring at the stork on his lawn.

“Did you drop this fuckin’ kid off?”

The stork stared.

“Oh no no no no no. No. I can’t do this. I don’t want him.”

Its head tilted to one side.

“Do you freakin’ understand me? I don’t want this… thing. Take it somewhe- hey!”

It began to walk away and stretch its wings. Jeffrey grabbed the child and ran out.

“Hey! You can’t just leave it here! I don’t want it!”

The stork took flight, either not hearing his protests or simply not caring, leaving Jeffrey Potts standing on his front lawn staring dumbfounded.

And holding his crying new child.