Ouch, can definitely feel the pain of it all. You have a lot of run-on sentences though which are distracting to an otherwise beautifully written piece.

hey is that a picture of you are president obama

That last line was powerful. But I do agree with the run-on sentences thing. Sometimes the thoughts were too clustered together. Still, the overall concept was fantastic. Beautiful, chilling and passionate—what a story of this type should be. :)

Chilling and powerful. Nice work.