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How do I know if your eyes are closed?

“Mike, you know a lot about science and stuff. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, what is it.”

“I heard that if someone was invisible, they’d also be blind. That true?”

“Well, yeah. If you are transparent, so is your retina. That’s unless you had some sort of cloak to capture and re-transmit light around you so it could hide your visible retinas; even then, it would have to process the image to erase your eyes, so the output would be delayed. There’d be a distortion, like in that movie, Predator.”

“Oh, yeah. I saw that movie. So, no way then?”

“Well … maybe. If you existed in a higher dimension it could be possible. Like how we’d be able to spy on two-dimensional beings without them knowing, just by being above them. Or just be transparent to visible light. If you were, but could see in infrared, you’d still see things, but people wouldn’t see you.”

“Crap.”

“What’s it matter? Some big invention I should know about?”

“No, I was just hoping it meant god couldn’t see me masturbate.”

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