they might not.. if they are so consumed with themselves.. it’s always sad to see a person so unaware of their influence on the world.. but I’ve felt this way myself, that I don’t matter to anyone, I just choose a different way of proving it.
I find it impossible to tell whether the narration is heavy with identification for the character or heavy with irony. The character’s central motivation here is “I’ll show them… maybe now they’ll notice me”. It’s not appealing, and doesn’t inspire sympathy in the reader. Then again, maybe the “unfeeling-ness” is part of the narrative. I just can’t put my finger on whether I find the ambiguity meaningful in any way.