Luddites Anonymous

I shuffled into the brightly lit meeting room that smelled of stale smoke and burnt coffee. Nobody was smoking, or drinking coffee. The decorum was 70’s vomit. Had I not been prepared, the scene before me would have probably melted my mind. I wasn’t sufficiently prepared.

“Welcome to our monthly meeting of the Flat Earth Society!” Applause and cheers. I began rethinking my journalism major. Perhaps Waste Engineering? “Cinder blocks are over there, in the corner,” the man behind the podium pointed out, as if I hadn’t seen the neatly stacked 800 pounds of concrete block straight inside the door.

Looking around the room, I saw people smilingly roped or chained to chairs, cement blocks, a ball-and-chain, and even a barbecue grill. The people carried on in excited conversation. Suddenly I became conscious of the dozens of pairs of eyes on me, so I mumbled, “oh, right,” grabbed a cinder block and took a seat with it in my lap.

“Let’s start the meeting. First point of order: today we repeal the Law of Gravity!”

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