Oh why, I must ask did I argue so well?
I mean all of my friends were already in hell
my accountant, fellow lawyers, even ally McBeal
“Yeah Right“I told St Peter i demand an appeal
these zombies in white with their worshipful song
I need a Newport, a Miller, and a leopard print thong.
They have no TV,
no Internet,
no XBOX ,
NO BOOKS
no fights,
no horns,
not even dirty looks
Hell has to be better, cause everyone’s there
Cept these prudes with no makeup and their Crystal Gail hair
The manna taste like prunes that have already been eaten
I see why Satan rebelled in hopes of getting beatin.
Everything i tried, to get me kicked out of here
like stabbing old Gabriel and cuttin off his ear
or grabbing a cherub for a quick shot of leg
left me still forgiven,
cigarette-less and undead
At night when the square dancing finally slows down
If I listen real hard with my ear to the ground
I can hear the theme from Cheers
and group fornication
I could be in hell livin’ good,
but i chose litigation.