Read In A Cockney Accent, Part 2

So what’s the secret to our success? Apart from the fact that I’m a criminal fucking mastermind, the reason we do very well for ourselves in what is otherwise a chaotic underworld is the amount of sleep we get.

Not all the time, you silly nonce, but before our jobs. When everything is in place, and we’re ready to go, we tuck ourselves into some very comfortable double beds at 8pm sharp, and get twelve hours of sleep. You can’t be jamming a shotgun in some poor sod’s face with only 6 hours in the sack. You’re likely to be overworked, and make mistakes. Mistakes aren’t unavoidable, but you should do your best.

My partners in crime, and when I say “partners” I really mean deputies, are Paul and Benny. Paul is as stupid as you can get, but if you tell him to do something, he’ll get it done with whatever you give to him, or whatever happens to be lying on the ground. It helps that he’s bigger than a house, and nearly impossible to stop from doing whatever it is he’s doing.

Benny is… Well, Benny is Benny.

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