“That thing is ugly,” said Josh.

“But they’re so cute! Look at the way he walks!” Gushed Mary.

“So what am I supposed to feed it?” Sighed Josh.

“Two scoops of this every morning, and he likes a piece of fruit in the afternoon. I bought some nectarines but he loves plums or bananas too.”

“What else?”

“Well he’d probably like if you took him for a walk.”

“A walk? I’m not about to go out with a giant…”

“It’s just that he gets restless and digs up the flower beds.”

“Fine.”

“Great. Now whatever you do keep him away from any dogs. They tend to freak out when they see him.”

“I’d imagine. He must look like a giant chicken snack.”

“How horrible!”

“Imagine if you were a dog and you got let loose with hundreds of these things. You’d have a field day.”

Mary covered the bird’s ears and scowled with concern.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of him.”

“Thank you,” said Mary coyly, giving Josh a peck on the cheek.

Once she was gone, Josh looked at the bird. “Come on you big dummy, let’s go for a walk.”